Wednesday, October 12, 2011

My heart's desire~

I just have the urge to open my laptop and type these few words on my mind, so I can bless other people with my story.
I kept on bugging my friends today by sending them text messages of what I have just "realized". Sigh*

I started my life as a dentistry proper student this year, I'm a proud 1st year student, again, I must say. 21 units, 21 grueling hard units, I presumed, Days passed, and our orientation came, it was told that our grades were back to zero, and  that we can aim for Cum Laude starting this semester. I wanted a good start, I wanted good grades, I wanted my spirit to be lifted, so I can tell myself I can make it through the remaining 4 years of studying.

On the second week of the semester, or perhaps third (I can’t remember any more) , I got my Temporary report card and posted some post its on it with the words:
 “Pinanghahawakan ko, walang dos sa  TRC, Uno all subjects… to God be the glory.”
When prelim was over I tried computing my grades, they seemed good at first, but when I computed the average, I was a bit sad, because I thought I was already doing my very best but I still got low grades.

Midterms, I’ll definitely say I didn’t do my best during this grading period. I was irresponsible, there were times when I didn’t study for a quiz, or perhaps times when I was studying with my mind flying over cloud 9. Perhaps I was a bit disappointed of the idea that even if I study I’d still get low grades, but I was wrong.

It was on that one morning, a few days before our midterm was over, when I found out that my grades during the prelim was not that low. I have classmates struggling to make their averages higher because they’ve got such a low average for prelims. Sigh*
I was wrong all along. God helped me through, and I didn’t even remember to thank Him, perhaps only once or twice, but in general, I wasn’t thankful, I was looking for something higher and better, much more than He wanted to give me, I was selfish and ignorant.
“I forgot my promise to Him…”
I wanted it for my own sake, when in the first place my sole purpose was to glorify His name.
I forgot everything I promised Him, and I guess that was my karma or perhaps God’s way of teaching me a lesson.

Today I had my final exam, and despite not having an exemption in some subjects I convinced myself that it was God’s will and that I must accept it. Yesterday I found out that I was exempted in one of the two exams today, I jolted with joy upon knowing, because I wasn’t expecting such. Yesterday I typed the words (on my cell phone):
                 “God may not always give us everything we ask for, but He always gives us what we need.”
Indeed God knows what we need and what’s best for us.
Today during our first exam my professor called out some random names, and to my delight I heard my surname, and like music to my ears she said that we must go out of the room quietly because we have been exempted from taking the first exam.
Success! I can’t help but smile today. I’ve been exempted for all the exams today. I came to know that we must always:
                “Delight ourselves to the Lord, and He shall shower us with countless blessings.”
I didn’t got to study much today for our first exam because I helped my friend finish his project. It was probably a blessing in disguise from up above, that I was exempted.
 I may not been exempted in some other subjects because of my midterm grades, but He found ways to exempt me from other things.

And through this story, I want people to know how great and loving He is. We may feel left out, or depressed whenever things go below our expectations, but let us always remember that He knows best, at all times, and let us never ever forget that He is always thinking of what’s best for us. Despite our shortcomings, and our forgetfulness He is still our Father, the most understanding and the most caring of all beings we’ll ever meet. I forgot my promise to God, but He kept His. Talk to Him always, and He shall also delight you with your heart’s desire. J